A February Competition Among Friends

This month, Noah and Leslie submitted a self-help book for the February book. I intentionally wanted to keep it super broad because I love to learn and it gave each person an opportunity to submit what they thought was “self-help.”

The Ground Rules

To help keep things mostly apples-to-apples, I selected a theme each month. Then, Leslie and Noah each submit a book to me for reading. Neither knows what the other shared with me. Then, over the course of a month, I read the books and choose a winner for the best book that month.

February 2022: Self-Help

Leslie submitted Co-dependent No More by Melodie Beattie. Here's what she said (slightly shortened) about why she chose it:

This book is about taking care of yourself and how to make sure other peoples problems aren’t you problems.

Next, Noah "submitted How to Write One Song: Loving the Things We Create and How they Love Us Back by Jeff Tweedy. Here's what he said:

This book gave me a lot more than just a blueprint for reliably writing a good song, but a good view on how to create anything - a view into his method and process, with a lot of practical tips that you can take or leave.

These two books are very different, and hard to truly compare. How to Write One Song shares tips and habits to write songs and music, whereas Co-dependent No More is all about self-reflection and psychological improvement.

I jumped into Co-dependent No More first because I am always wanting to learn more about human behavior and our drivers. I liked how this book wants to help people. It seems like it would be fantastic in situations of emotional upheaval or turmoil. If you find yourself constantly taking on other people’s problems and dependencies as your own, this book may be an early step in changing your mindset.

Originally published in 1986, this book could use some updates. As a society, there’s so much more information on codependence that we’ve learned in the last 35 years that I feel this book doesn’t address. Additionally, the author admits she is not a scientist, psychologist, therapist, or any authority in the field to help others. The book is predominantly about her journey and learnings. While her anecdotes may resonate with plenty of people (and the mark of wisdom is learning from other people’s mistakes), I feel strongly that when dealing with psychological behaviors and mental health, you need data to back up your claims.

How to Write One Song was a bit of a surprise in the self-help category, but I like it. While the book is focused on song-writing, there’s great advice for any writer. More importantly, most of the lessons Tweedy convesy are life lessons. “Get comfortable with failure” is applicable in all aspects of life.

While I know nothing of Wilco or Jeff Tweedy, I found Tweedy’s writing to be energetic and positive. You read along as goes through his thought process, which is encouraging to see “in the raw.” It’s not amazing, but no first drafts are.

Two Will Enter, One Will Win

Comparing these books and deciding a winner between my two friends isn't easy. In January, it’s because the books were so different. This month, the topics are so different that it’s hard. Both books are winners and we have a tie this month. One point each to Leslie and Noah!

Check out both and decide if you have a favorite!