Books for Social Interaction
Many people have some level of anxiety around social interactions. Human interaction is part of our daily lives, whether it’s meeting strangers at an event, making small talk with acquaintances, or bumping into your neighbor at the mailbox. For years, I’ve heard people say how much they hate small talk or complain about having to talk about the weather. Small talk is one of the best ways to build a relationship and shouldn’t be ignored!
After two years of a global pandemic, many of us forgot how to be around people. We have to relearn non-verbal communication and relearn how to socialize in some cases. If you’re preparing to re-enter the world but not quite there yet, there are a few books to help maximize your success.
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
A perennial classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People, discusses the basics of social interactions. It’s a book primarily made up of anecdotes, and it ends quite abruptly, but there is much wisdom to gain. The main things I took from How to Win Friends:
Use the person’s name in conversation - it builds a connection
Ask general questions and don’t make assumptions
Example: Tell me about people important to you (instead of: Are you married with kids?)
Example: What do you enjoy doing regularly? (instead of: What do you do for work?)
Remember, everyone is better than you at something, maybe multiple things. What can you learn from others?
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck
Mindset is a book about learning and changing how we handle the world. I think this is a wonderful book for social interactions because it will cause you to reflect on how you see things and help you identify how your conversational partner may see something. Understanding the mindset of yourself and others is integral to having conversations.
Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari
Sapiens might seem odd to have on this list, given that the book deals with a condensed human history. However, I found it helpful from an evolutionary psychology standpoint. Sapiens shows, in broad strokes, why humans are the way we are and why we behave in specific, predictable ways. If you’re interested in the why behind human interaction, you’ll love this book.
Remember, there’s no substitute for practice! You’ll say the wrong things, forget words, and communicate poorly from time to time. Give yourself grace and try to laugh at yourself.