How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community by Mia Birdsong

How We Show Up

Subtitle: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community

Author: Mia Birdsong

Genre: Nonfiction, Community

Format: Physical Purchase

Publish Date: June 2020

Read: April 2024

Favorite Quote: The American Dream’s narrowly defined paths to happiness and success rely on an acceptance of prescribed roles, and a lot of accumulation and exhibition.

Synopsis: After decades of people striving to achieve the “American Dream,” people feel more isolated than ever before. Mia Birdsong seeks to understand why. Western, specifically American culture, has focused on individualism, the nuclear family, and upward mobility. Despite the plethora of ways people feel “other” (race, class, gender, etc.), the reason for this increase in isolation is a lack of community. How We Show Up helps readers understand how we became isolated and how to start showing up for others and building the communities we wish to have.

Why does this book beguile? When I picked up How We Show Up, I hoped it would be more on an individual level than a broad community level. That said, I like how Birdsong discusses what we can do as individuals to create the community and camaraderie we all desire. Throughout the book, the author shares examples and anecdotes of communities and how they function, enriching the lives of the members and providing support and safety in a multitude of ways.

While I enjoyed the book and would love to be part of a community as described in so many stories, the gap I saw was how the communities get formed. Isolation and a lack of community is discussed, and examples of supportive communities are shared. However, I was left wondering: who starts these communities? Is it accidental or intentional? Is it only for people with children or unique hobbies that come together? How can non-religious people form a community?

I recommended The Resilience Myth below to help address some of these questions, but I have yet to find a book that answers these questions.

Rating: 4/5

Link*: How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community by Mia Birdsong

If you’re interested in this, read*: The Resilience Myth: New Thinking on Grit, Strength, and Growth After Trauma by Soraya Chemaly