Marie Kondo, Hygge, and Creating a Life You Love

Since 2014 or so, there’s been an increased focus on finding happiness. Especially here in the USA. Many Americans are working too much, not taking care of themselves, and as a result, mental health issues are on the rise and quality of life is on the decline. Now, Americans are focusing on what other countries do for happiness. Why are the Danes so happy? What do the Japanese know and we don’t? How is Bhutan the world’s happiest nation when so few people have heard of it and can’t place it on a map? While some set out to answer these questions, I use the questions and my own answers to find a path to my own happiness and creating a life I love.

Hygge

One of the many paths to happiness is creating Hygge. If you simply google “hygge,” you’ll get thousands of results. Some of these are overviews of what hygge is. Some are how-to guides to creating hygge in your home and life. Some of these are helpful. Many are not. If you want to learn about hygge, read The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking.

Ultimately, hygge equates something to hominess or coziness. Picture a roaring fire, a big comfy chair, lots of hand-knit blankets, a hot beverage, and a good book surrounding you while a storm carries on outside. The feeling in this cozy, warm, safe, moment is hygge. Homemade, slow-cooked food is hygge. Cake is hygge. You get the idea.

So why does hygge matter? For years, I attempted to create hygge without realizing its name or origin. However, I felt it was at odds with my love of minimalism, clean lines, and good design. I wondered, how can I create the cozy, blanket-filled space I love while maintaining a minimalist style and life.

Super hygge

Marie Kondo - the KonMari Method

At the start of 2019, Netflix watchers met Marie Kondo. The show, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, is a reality-style series sharing an interesting method of tidying up your home. If you haven’t heard of Marie Kondo yet, let me welcome you back from trekking in the Himalayas and Eat-Pray-Loving your way through remote regions of the world.

I first experienced Marie Kondo in 2014 or 2015, when I learned about this super cool Japanese method of folding shirts. As we traveled more and more, I wanted better and more efficient ways of packing. Learning how to fold clothes with this Japanese method allowed me to pack better and get more clothes in my suitcase for my trips. Jackpot!

Unfortunately, great folding methods didn’t make me happier with my packing skills. It wasn’t until we took our big three week trip to New Zealand in 2017 I discovered my problem. It’s not that I needed a better way to pack, I needed fewer clothes from which to choose. This began many different methods of getting rid of clothes. Turn all the hangers around and if, at the end of six months or one year, I haven’t worn an item - donate it. These methods often didn’t work due to specialty pieces or seasonal items. I looked at capsule wardrobes and flow charts on how to make decisions about clothes. It didn’t matter. I still had too many clothes, not enough room for them, and felt burdened by items I felt obligated to keep for some weird reason, but I didn’t love them.

My amazing husband who knows me all too well suggested we watch Marie Kondo. He knows my passion for productivity, efficiency, and organization and he recognized Marie Kondo is right up my alley. The day after we binged the entire series, I serenely pulled all of my clothes and shoes into a pile on the bed. One by one, I used the KonMari method to go through each piece. I thanked what I donated or discarded and cheerfully folded or hung what I kept. Several hours later, I had a RAV4 full of clothes headed to Goodwill.

From this moment, I was hooked on the KonMari method. Not only did I donate over half of my closet, but I have no guilt or regrets about the items I chose to donate. I thanked them for what they did for me and let them go. As an added bonus, within hours of getting rid of these items, I couldn’t remember what they were. Since using the KonMari method on my clothes, I haven’t once thought about what was donated. I can focus on the items I kept - the items which truly spark joy. We’re slowly working our way through the other categories: books, papers, komono (miscellany), and sentimental items.

KonMari method. Items that spark joy each in their own space.

Creating a Life of Joy

In our consumer driven culture where we Keep up with the Joneses, buy a new phone whenever it comes out (even though ours still works beautifully), and spend Thanksgiving evening shopping for Christmas gifts which our families probably don’t really want, we eventually have too much stuff. Kids feel awkward, downright guilty, about getting rid of things their parents gave them. Especially if the parents are not financially well-off. Adults keep things given to them by their parents because grief, nostalgia, and sentimentality all blend together when our parents die. We hoard random, specialty items “just in case” when in reality, we’ve never really used a mandolin slicer and probably never will.

Creating a life of joy means getting rid of what’s holding you back. Sometimes you must confront sentimental items or items we’ve attached memories to and let them go. Sometimes it means displaying something meaningful more prominently, allowing the item to bring us joy each day. While journaling, yoga, and practicing gratitude helps on a daily basis, I discovered it’s equally, if not more important, to love your home. We spend so much time at home, especially if you’re an entrepreneur or remote employee. If you don’t love the space you’re in, the discomfort you feel creeps into other areas of your life. The tricky thing about feeling unhappiness in your own space is how it creeps up on you. You don’t notice it on a daily basis until one day, you notice it. Suddenly, and you don’t know why, you want to rearrange the space. Or paint. Or buy all new furniture. Or move! Why? It’s probably not because you actually hate the color of the walls or your furniture, but you have too many items which do not spark joy.

Things that spark joy!

Whether it’s hygge or KonMari or a combination of both, everyone’s ultimate goal is to create a life of joy. No matter the method, take time to practice decluttering, tidying, and discarding to open your heart to what’s truly precious: your time, your family, and what sparks joy.